Saturday, July 19, 2014

The last few months have been crazy and busy which tends to come in waves with us.  I sat here today realizing this is the first time in almost three years when my cycle showed and I did not have an emotional break down of sorts, privately of course.  Things have not been easy with the trying to conceive portion of our lives but it is something we share here and there but rarely REALLY talk openly about it.  You see, I have watched news stories about parents ... monsters .... killing their own children and asking God why he would give these angels to parents who do not even want them yet leave us unable to have a child together.  Every few months I find myself pulling out the baby box and resorting through what I have collected and have asked him to contribute without him doing so.  For a while I was hurt that he hasn't added anything to the box but I think part of him does not want to get everything and us not have a baby.  Again though I have not asked him why he hasn't gotten anything to add to the box maybe because part of me does not want to hear the answer.  

Life has been all types of crazy and I am not sure how it will feel once things have come to pass, once things are not always such a struggle.  I finally got an appointment with the MDA clinic for Kody who then wanted to send him to every specialist known to man.  The only thing Kody was interested in was being able to get in to get a new wheelchair that is more comfortable.  Yes, we got the referral for his chair and see the clinic on Thursday of this coming week for that.  Rikki is working hard to pursue her dreams and we are supporting her 100% with it all.  This means having a flexible schedule to accommodate necessary appointments for her.  It will take time for her career to develop and she is going to soar.  We love her attitude though because of course not every audition leads to a part in whatever area.  She somehow is able to shrug it off and not allow it to discourage her.  Nisa is doing well and moving probably in mid August.  She and Cody will be moving to Wyoming for a while.  Yes, she has a bf named Cody.  

Okay lost my train of thought so to be continued I suppose. 

Friday, July 11, 2014

Busy Life .... Happy Wife

Yea I stated it briefly in the status ..... I'm happy.  This morning I woke up in a wicked mood though which is probably because I didn't get much sleep.  I'm over it now though.  Right now I'm on break at work...ET insisted I take a break.  This weekend is going to be busy.  Tonight I have to finish compressing some videos and updating Rikki's profiles.  Before going home we need to stop and pick up a basic portfolio for her head shots for upcoming events.  Yesterday she attended class with Rob Pralgo and he is a wonderful teacher / actor.  

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Break Time In Hiram

I'm working today in Hiram and this clinic is closer to home which is a good thing.  Sometimes my nurse has to remind me to take a break because I get wrapped up in working.  It was decided we will start working earlier for this Friday so I have to remember to set my calendar so I am here at 4:30am that day.  I've decided I am going to take a semester off after the summer semester.  Though I haven't decided whether I will remain on the nursing path or change what my end plan will be.  Though I know I am going to be in healthcare I am not sure where in healthcare.  This math stuff has really gotten to me and it is difficult to deal with the wall it puts up.  

Nisa and I have been talking about things and the fact that she will be moving when her boyfriend takes the job in Wyoming.  This means they will be 28 hours away from us.  It is tough explaining to Rikki that her big sister is an adult and has to live her own life.  Rikki misses being the center of Nisa's world.  She adores her big sis and wants the attention which is understandable.  Kody misses her too but isn't verbal about it.  I think I am going to talk to Nisa about slotting out time to video chat with them both.  

After watching Steve Harvey yesterday, my DH and I had a very interesting conversation that opened eyes with both of us.  Thanks Mr. Harvey!!!!  

I wonder where things will be with life by this time next year.  Patience is supposed to be a virtue BUT I am still figuring that virtue out.

God bless everyone and thanks for checking in on us.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

My emotions have been all over the place over the last few days.  I have let everything get to me while not talking to my husband about any of it.  Go figure the one person I should talk to about everything is the one person I tend to shield from what is going on inside my head.  Everything boils down to God must think I am a bad ass for real.  

Tonight I have to take an algebra test for a class I didn't even feel like taking and write an essay about a poem that has me  in tears whenever I even read it.  Being an empath sucks sometimes.  Most don't understand what that even means and those who do won't admit they know what it is.  My emotions because of it are like an open wound that salt gets thrown on.  

I started taking Garcina Cambogia last month to attempt to lose weight and am trying really hard to lose 25 pounds.  I found myself checking to make sure it wouldn't hurt a fetus if by some miracle I were to get pregnant.  Did I mention I thought I was pregnant this month?  Yes, I thought I was.  My cycle was three days late and I had just told Will that I was going to wait four days to test.  Then the spotting started which indicated my body was proving to me it wasn't pregnant.  Maybe that is part of the roller coaster I have been on.  It probably is.  

Rikki is working on her craft as I write this.  She is more talented than she gives herself credit for.  I guess that makes her humble.  She is a great kid and sometimes I don't think she realizes that. She is an empath as well which makes it tough to say nothing is wrong when she asks.  It's tough and I think she and I need to have a talk about how to manage it.

Nisa and I were talking yesterday and she told me they may be moving.  Cody has a job interview Wednesday and if it goes well they will be moving 28 hours away from us.  I'm happy for them but I miss the hell out of her.  

Kody actually asked for the computer to use Facebook yesterday.  I think he just wanted to comment on some pictures.  We've got to reschedule his pulmonary appointment due to schedule conflict.  The FA is a struggle because there is not anything to fix it.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

It's Getting Hot In Here ....

I had to call our landlord this morning.  We had the AC on and it was set for 74 yet it was registering 84 in our house.  He called an AC guy to come out but he cannot come until tomorrow between 2-6pm.  This will be the third time the heating and cooling people have had to be here to fix something since we moved here in June last year.  I am hoping they are able to fix it tomorrow because it is going to be one hell of a summer this year.  

I found myself talking to Will about Florida and if we were still there what the situation would be.  We both said we would probably still be in our apartment and would have already been hitting the pool.  Down side would be that the opportunities Rikki has here she would not have had in Florida.  I would probably still be attending the community college in a quest to get my nursing degree.  

Honestly I have lost my umph to move forward with the nursing school things.  I have expressed this to Will and said I am going to take time off to make some decisions about it.  I worked in the hospital with nurses and I am not sure I want to be in their positions.  They did not like their positions and complained about it frequently.  Who knows, maybe it wasn't their positions but rather the company.  

Monday, May 19, 2014

Whirl Wind Week

This past week has been sort of crazy busy.  Rikki has been requested for and submitted for a few acting jobs.  This past Saturday she did a face to face audition for Greg Daniel and Rob Pralgo .... and she rocked it.  She has been attending acting classes with Rowan Bousaid.  This afternoon, on the way home from Kody's appointment, I received a call from her agent letting me know she had been requested to do a taped audition.  We will be doing the taping tomorrow and submit it before 5pm.  Tonight we were working through her sides (script) for the audition and she was picking up the lines quite quickly. After the audition on Saturday, we went to lunch at IHOP with Kim and Chandler Wood.  I connected with Kim through the modeling gig Rikki had been involved with and Chandler is her son who was participating as well. 

Today Kody had an appointment at 1pm with the MDA clinic.  This appointment took forever since it was an establishing appointment.  They had all the specialist come in and evaluate him.  He has to see the medical equipment department for some equipment that would help him for his daily activities.  We are talking about getting a bath chair, toilet rails, sliding board, and new manual chair with better support for him.  They want him to see the pulmonolgist, speech therapy, orthopedics, and have a sleep study and swallow study done.

Needless to say we are very busy parents and only getting busier.

Monday, May 5, 2014

EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD ..... The Amazing Spiderman

On this day, eighteen years ago, I gave birth to a 5.11 pound 19 inch long little boy.  He was in such a hurry to meet the outside world that he was 5.5 weeks premature.  Now he is 5'3" and still full of sarcasm and wit.  This past Saturday we took him out to see the Amazing Spiderman movie and to have dinner at a coney island here that he loves.  Today we sit back and relax.  

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